Re Re Re Re Dutch Treat
My dear little Dutch friend,
It is with a heavy heart that I am writing this email. I feel bad for poor Dutch soccer players who got spanked terribly by Russian guys and had to go back with tulips in their tender Dutch asses. Since Holland is smaller than Anna’s bathroom, the poor Dutch guys cannot even hide their embarrassment from their Dutch compatriots.
In the meantime, as Anna predicted, Russian bears drinking vodka and playing balalaika are invading Holland. I think Russia, as a friendly gesture, should send a lot of vodka to help Netherlands to get over the BIGGEST DISASTER in Dutch soccer history. Dutch guys should forget about soccer FOREVER and switch to the things they are best in- i.e. growing tulips and selling weed.
Though, you are still a good friend of mine and it is not your fault that you were born in a wrong country. I have an idea how to help you my friend! I am going to convert you into Russian. Next time when I come over, I will bring a Russian flag for your car and a bottle of vodka. I will provide you with training on how to drink vodka the Russian way.
Anna has already agreed to come to Canada to teach you Russian swearing.
Note from Anna:
It is oblivious, Russian football is the greatest in galaxy. We made Ronaldu wait in the queue for Russian citizenship. It is time to calm down and organize a drinking\smoking session somewhere in Caribbean between 3 of us :)
P.S. It was a Great Game. After scoring 2 goals in overtime with Dutch, I don’t even care if Russians lose to Spain because we have done something to be proud of!